Parenting Through Chronic Illness and Trauma: Why You Are More Than Enough

Going through this healing journey, the stress of parenting your children while re-learning a new playbook of how to do life, is daunting. I wrote this earlier to a friend, but felt that others need to hear this as well. I have a disease called Chiari and lots of comorbidities. I wrote this in mind of other parents who have chronic illness/recovery/tbi, but also for any of us with the struggles so many of us have endured. I think many can relate.

It is so hard as a parent to know that our kids do not experience “normal” parents. I have been struggling for so long with how to parent with a chronic illness with progressive symptoms requiring new learned skills and meds, while also healing with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. God (and my therapist) have helped me so much to have a deeper understanding that I am not a failed parent.

However, our kids have learned: a kindness for others that is like a shining diamond, patience that is pure gold, joy that is like the most beautiful sunrise, love that is unconditional, self control and self responsibility/independence that no university could teach, true peace that comes from within to understand what it truly means to “know thyself” that the greatest philosopher could not understand, perseverance that will carry them through any storm that they will ever encounter, and faith that the light is so much more beautiful than the dark.

Truly, we have been incredible parents. Why? Because they have watched us try and try again, to learn to do “basic” skills that we taught them to do, to endure the deepest pain (physical and emotional), and we NEVER GIVE UP because of our love for them. This is a lesson that will deeply impact them and for generations. We may not be able to do all of the “typical parent” stuff, but by watching us survive and live and thrive in the process, they are learning so much more. You are more than enough, because you have endured more than enough.

This article is from a woman who suffers from Rheuamtoid Arthritis, but I love her advice for how to avoid guilt while healing while parenting.

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With prayers for generations of love,

Amanda Olson